Snapshots From My Memoir: The Story of A Former Dancer

“Even at my lowest point I don’t think I ever stopped loving dance, but I think it stopped loving me back. It felt like I was in a relationship with somebody who didn’t like me enough to put any effort into keeping me around, but also was too lazy to just break up with me and let me move on with my life. I was in an unhealthy, completely co-dependent relationship with chasing perfection. There was never any couples counseling for that.”

“I kept forcing myself to believe that I couldn’t, or shouldn’t, be happy until I was making money as a ballet dancer. My priorities became completely skewed, and I was growing more distant from the artistry that made me love dancing in the first place.”

“That was one of the first moments when I realized that my dream wasn’t to be a famous ballerina, or to be a tragically tormented artist, my dream was to be at peace with who I am.”

“Ironically, it was the people who knew me the least that kept feeling sorry for me.”

“After being in Atlanta for less than twenty-four hours, I got on the first flight back to California; I stared out the window of the plane, and there I made the resolution to quit dancing in order to take care of my mental health, my sanity, and my happiness. “

“That big prize, the one that I thought I wanted to win, was a contract with a ballet company. I never got that contract. I never met that goal, but I found something better.”

 “I turned my hobby of journaling into a passion for writing, I began painting again which I hadn’t done since childhood, I started practicing meditation, I reconnected with old friends, and I found joy in living a well-rounded life.”

“After I quit dancing professionally, I adopted a mindfulness practice, I began pursuing writing, and I finally found the time to make peace with myself.”

Published by gabbylohse

Amateur Writer, Amateur Artist, Professional Amateur

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