A parody in the narrative style of Sex and The City, from the series “And I couldn’t help but wonder… A Carrie Bradshaw take on the real world” 

I came home that night from the opening of the West Village’s newest underground club, feeling light from the lifted weight of my wallet after four cosmopolitans and two-way cab fare. After kicking off my Manolo Blahniks and digging out the Chinese food that was taking up so much space in my fridge it should be paying rent, I began to realize something. In between greasy egg rolls and puffs of my Marlboro Lites, I couldn’t help but wonder, where is the line between self-care and self-destruction? 

Sure, I’ve stayed out until 3 am every night this week, woken up in some twenty-something’s loft bed, and developed bags under my eyes the size of my Fendi baguette, but isn’t that what concealer and double cappuccinos are for? And as I walk home every night, and sometimes morning, I can’t help but think, am I just keeping up this charade to put off actually taking care of myself? I say that I’m happy now, I’ve got great friends and great Jimmy Choos. But am I going to be happy when I wake up and realize that I’m 40, single, and lost? 

But then again, I can’t help but notice how many married women don’t know what he heck they’re doing either. Take Marianne for example, 33, married, two beautiful kids. Sure she looks perfect on the outside, takes a bubble bath every Sunday when the kids are at soccer, and hasn’t gained a pound since baby number two. But what hubby doesn’t know is that Marianne’s form of “self-care” is gambling the kid’s college fund away on internet poker. If she’s stuck at home playing little wifey all day, I guess I don’t blame her for using self-care to justify some danger. 

So often I look around at the women in this city, each of us so driven, but without destination. I couldn’t help but wonder, maybe self-care is less about what we do, and more about where we’re actually trying to go in this crazy world? 

Published by gabbylohse

Amateur Writer, Amateur Artist, Professional Amateur

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